A Request For Help

Warning: The following post contains very sensitive subject matter. Some parts may be very difficult to read.

The woman I am about to talk about will not be identified in any way. The only information will be what is in this post and I will very carefully read it before posting to make sure she is not identifiable. She and I met for the purpose of sex and we both enjoyed it enough to come back for more and also to hang out as friends at times. We were not exclusive to each other.

A short time after she I met and became friends (with benefits) we were chatting through an IM program. It did not take long for me to realize that something was wrong. With patience and just talking to her, I learned that she had been raped. Through the conversation I had also learned she wanted cigarettes (I don't smoke) and a specific soft drink. I convinced her to let me bring those to her.

A quick stop at the store, a few dollars spent, and then a few minutes later I was there for her. She sat with me in my vehicle and smoked her cigarette and drank her drink and told me what she could tell me. I just listened. I focused only on her. I could have been incredibly angry with the man who had done this to her, but I kept that emotion away from me. It wasn't what she needed. She just needed to feel ok again. To not feel so in shock and so hurt. I held her as she cried. I listened as she talked. I let her feel anything she needed to feel and I was simply there for her.

We stayed in touch, we hung out as friends. Sex was not an issue between us. I knew she would need to take as much time as she needed to feel safe to be with a man again. I never asked for anything other than her friendship and a couple of times her help with handling tasks that were a bit big for me alone.

After more time had passed. This one night she and I were talking on the phone, just talking about events of the days, things in our lives, and such. I guess I was distracted by something at the time because I didn't catch on that there was something on her mind. She was very nervous and very shy, and she asked me to have sex with her. She had not been with a man since that incident.

I have no idea how I found the voice to speak. But somehow I did. Somehow I let her know that I would, and I did the best I could to express how this made me feel. I was honored beyond words that she felt this safe with me. I was humbled that she saw in me a man she could trust to help her feel like a sexual woman again. Those two feelings were nearly overwhelming me then.

We made arrangements for her to spend the night with me.

I did not say anything to her about how nervous I was. How much I suddenly felt shy with her. She had become my friend instead of a lover. We were going to change that again. I was also very self conscious and thinking that if I did something wrong I could trigger a reaction in her. I wanted so much to be good for her and to be what she needed in a man at that time.

When the night came, she came over early enough to hang out. We had dinner, watched TV, chatted, and more. Finally bedtime arrived (there were others besides us two, thus the waiting), and I felt even more nervous than ever. I pushed that nervousness down, keeping it at bay so that she would not pick up on it (I hoped).

We undressed and got into bed with each other. I slid close to her and kissed her. I could sense her nervousness and also could sense she was determined not to let her nervousness stop her. I paused for just a moment and asked her if she was familiar with safe words. She wasn't. So I explained. I have a safe word. It is a word that is not related to sex, and if I hear it from someone I am playing a sexual game with, I stop. No matter how difficult it may be. I stop. If I have to just hold myself in a position and close my eyes to get myself under control, I do. I explained this to her and I gave her my safe word.

I could feel her relax when I told her this. We began kissing again. Everything I did. I moved slowly in doing. I felt like a teenager trying again to get the girl worked enough to have sex with me. In a sense, that is what I was doing. I didn't just want to have sex with her. I wanted her to have an experience that was as enjoyable as possible under the circumstances.

I kissed her lips and our tongues played. I lightly caressed her skin on her arms and ribs and the sides of her legs. I kissed her neck and felt her pulse and breathing increase under my tongue. I let my lips and hands roam further, touching and caressing more of her skin. Tasting her as I felt her body respond to what I was doing. I let her nipple slip between my lips and felt as well as heard the slight gasp of pleasure escape her lips.

I held her body closer, letting my bare skin rub against hers. Letting her feel me, letting her feel comfortable with me. Letting my body heat increase her desire. When I felt she was ready. I let my legs slip between hers. She willingly opened her legs for me. I felt both desire and nervousness from her. I felt my own nervousness intensify.

In that moment. I was scared. I was ready for her to say the safe word. Part of me would have felt relieved if she had. A bigger part of me would have felt disappointed though. I was there and ready to have sex, and even more importantly was doing what she had asked of me.

I did not pause in my nervousness. Hoping she would not notice how nervous I was. I did pause when my cock came into contact with her pussy. I let the head rest there for a moment, making sure she was aware of my cock ready to enter her. Letting her feel that soft head with the rigid shaft ready to bring her pleasure. I felt her shift her hips, instinctively or intentionally attempting to get my cock lined up to slide into her.

I shifted with her and reached between us to guide my cock to her waiting pussy. I teasingly and slowly brushed the head up and down the entrance, getting the head nice and wet. Enjoying the pleasure of how wet she had become before sliding into her.

I gently and cautiously allowed my cock to slide into her. She was so wet there was no resistance. I stopped when my cock was all the way just to gage how she was doing. Her breathing, soft moans, and the way she held me told me that desire had taken over. She was in pleasure, and the nervousness and fear were pushed aside.

I thrilled to feel this pleasure from her and opened myself to enjoy pleasuring her and letting myself feel the pleasure of having sex with her. I began thrusting, letting my cock slide back and forth along the walls of her pussy, letting it getting wetter and slicker.

She began encouraging me, asking for more, and I gave her what she asked for. I thrust faster, harder, driving my cock into her and making her cum again and again.

When I felt satisfied with her pleasure, I stopped holding my own back. I let it go and let my mind engage in the delicious sensations raging up and down the shaft of my cock. I became part of it, and it became as my body, encased in her. Delighting in her, taking me to the top of my pleasure and releasing it into her. Cumming and spurting deep inside of her pussy. Trembling and throbbing in my release. Gasping and moaning in my pleasure.

Until I was drained and no longer had the strength to hold myself up. Gently I lowered myself to kiss her lips. To smile against her face and to feel her satisfaction on so many levels. She had overcome her fear. She had overcome her nervousness, and she had felt the pleasure she missed throughout her body.

I still had no words for what it meant to me that she chose me like she did. I know there are so many men with good honest hearts who could have done as well. This is one memory that transcends sex for me.