A Message For Sulpicia

Ms. Sulpicia of Sulpiciav3

You Win, I Lose. I am just simply tired of asking for you to do what is morally right to do. I am tired of repeating myself against your stubbornness. I am tired of trying to communicate my side to you when you simply refuse to acknowledge anything.

This is a complete and final end. You won’t get a chance to apologize for taking advantage of me the way that you did. You won’t get to apologize for lying to me. You won’t get to apologize for the broken promises. You won’t get to apologize for anything you ever said or did.

You will not be forgiven for lying to me. You will not be forgiven for taking money from me that you knew you never had a right to take. You have always known that I sent you money for the plane ticket. You have always known you used that ticket to travel to Mexico for your own personal vacation while my son and I were left to struggle financially. It doesn’t matter now what you change your story to say. I know the truth that you always knew what that money was for.

The remainder of your life, you will live with telling the lies that you told. The remainder of your life, you will live with the knowledge that you hurt someone so deeply that he was left collapsed emotionally. The remainder of your life, you will live with the knowledge that that same man hates and despises you every bit as much as you claim to hate your first husband.

The remainder of your life, you should know that the people who know me and care about me were shocked that anyone could treat me the way that you did. You should know that some of those same people hate and despise you even more than I do because of what you did to me. You should always know that I am not the only person who strongly believes you are morally bankrupt.

You will not have the opportunity to change that. When it comes to my friends and I, you will not have the opportunity to ever again say that you are a decent person. You will never have the opportunity to say that you have a kind and caring heart.

If I could have filed a lawsuit against you to recover that money, I absolutely would have. I truly believe you became low-life scum because of that action. You will never have the chance to change that perception of you. You will never know a moment in your life where I feel you had any entitlement to that money.

It doesn’t matter what you tell yourself. It doesn’t matter how many friends tell you differently. It does not matter what other people tell you. The real truth is that it was because of you that I collapsed emotionally. The real truth is that you are a person who did lie to me. You are a person who displayed no compassion of any sort to what I felt and what I went through. You will be that person for the remainder of your life. You will be that person in the afterlife. It is something that you cannot change now.

You cannot change it because you win through your stubbornness to try in any way shape or form to be a better person. You win because you refuse to show real integrity in regards to this money. You win because you lowered yourself to changing stories and telling lies. You win because I am tired of asking you to be a decent person. I am tired of asking you to do what is morally right. I am tired of asking you to give consideration to my thoughts and feelings.

At this end, you win. I strongly doubt you have won what you truly want. I strongly doubt you have won what you need. I doubt this win will leave you feeling the arousal you felt upon signing over the paperwork on the house with your second husband. I doubt you will feel the same arousal you felt on winning the legal battle with your first husband.

I have no doubts there will be times you will lay awake at night with the angry words going through your mind. I have no doubts you will lay awake with the recriminations playing again and again. I have no doubt you go through wondering what went wrong and why things couldn’t have been better. It does not matter how many sleepless nights you go through. I won’t be there, ever. I won’t tell you anything will be alright. I won’t tell you that anything can be repaired. I won’t tell you that you are forgiven. I won’t tell you I would want to be friends or stay in contact.

It will end. It will be final. You will have to live with the scars you created for the rest of your life. You will live with the person you truly were, and that person was very ugly through and through.

I truly hope you find your win at least as bitter for you to accept as the loss is for me to accept. Among so many men in the world, I truly never deserved the way you treated me. I truly never deserved to be lied to. I truly never deserved for you to take advantage of my kindness and integrity so that you could have more enjoyment in your vacation. In the end, I never deserved to have someone like you to come in my life to hurt me emotionally and financially. This is your win Ms. LeTourneau

The Liar - Buyer Beware

The entire world should know that Sulpicia, writer of Sulpiciapastfuture and Sulpicav3 blogs is a liar.

The entire world should know that she does not have a shred of human decency.

She is a woman who took advantage of a man within months of him losing his wife to long term illness. She took money from him which she admittedly used indirectly toward her vacation to Mexico.

She is a woman who knew for months, maybe as much as a year that she had hurt him deeply, and yet she did nothing.

She is a woman who learned that she caused him to endure an emotional collapse, and yet she did nothing.

He sent her a full heartfelt apology. She replied by telling him she hoped he would get over his issues and his shit.

After more than a year, they did try to talk. She said she apologized for hurting him, but then went on to say she did not have to apologize for anything she said, or anything she did. What then, did she apologize for? What is the value of her apology if she is so certain she did nothing wrong? What is the value of her apology when it took 13 months for her to say anything? When she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt what she had done to him.

I wish every one of her friends really knew what a despicable example of a person she truly is. I doubt she would have many friends left if they knew her for what she really is.

I wish every man in the world (especially Canada, especially in or visiting the Northwest Territories) could know what her ex-husband and I know. We know that she is unworthy of a relationship with any man. She will tell people that she is not controlling, but you better do exactly what she says, exactly when she says it, and exactly the way she wants it done or she will be sure to make sure you pay dearly.

I wish that people would give her (and others like her) their voice of disapproval and let her know that there is nothing acceptable about her behavior. There is nothing acceptable about treating people badly just because they don’t do what you tell them to do. There is nothing acceptable about lying to people. There is nothing acceptable about taking advantage of a person going through grief in the loss of a spouse. I guess it won’t really happen that way though. She is just smart enough and willing to lie enough to make people think she is the victim.

I guess if getting away with abusing someone emotionally makes one a victim. Then she is a victim. If taking money from someone who is emotionally distraught makes a person a victim. Then she is a victim. If using men only for her own self serving purposes makes someone a victim, then she is a victim. Otherwise, she is only a liar who refuses to acknowledge what she has done wrong to others in her life.

I used to think her ex-husband was a true cad for asking for a divorce from her while she was recovering from neck surgery. I understand now. When she first left, he felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders and he realized that she was that weight. That she was crushing him as surely as a mountain would. He was so suffocated that he had to be free from her. He couldn’t bear the thought of spending another day with her, and so he did what he had to do in order to get free from this woman who had nearly ruined the man that he truly was.

I wish her parents could know everything she did. I wish they could know all of the lies. I wish they could know all of the torment her ex-husband went through. I wish they could know how she used and took advantage of a man within months of him losing his wife. Then they could know they completely failed in raising in a decent human being. They could know that what they raised is a liar who has no remorse about taking advantage of decent men.

There is a reason she had that smackdown last summer where she was told angrily that she didn’t know how to love. Once again, another man has learned the harsh lesson of what a horrible person she is.

As for what she lied about. She said her cell phone bill went up just over $1000 due to calls between her and I. She used silence to lie about taking money from me that indirectly funded her trip to Mexico. When I asked for it back, she told me the cell phone bill was over $3000. Is there anything she ever said that could be the truth? I don’t think so, once a liar, always a liar. Is that enough proof? Probably not. Ok, look at the broken promises. She promised to communicate. She stopped communicating. She promised to not be controlling. She expected me to do exactly what she wanted and stopped communicating because I didn’t (what I did was keep trying to communicate with her). She promised to treat me well. She treated me like crap, which led to my emotional breakdown. She promised to be honest with me beyond normal. She failed completely in that promise.

Right now that woman has no redeeming qualities. It is my sincere hope that she never enters into another relationship with a man. I sincerely hope there is not another man on this earth who has to endure her as myself, her ex-husband, and so many others already have. It is my sincere hope that the truth about her excessively ugly nature becomes revealed to all of her friends and that they know her for what she truly is.

The woman who uses (or used) the handle Sulpicia has no redeeming qualities. Maybe she wants to be a good person, but she has a lot of work to do in order to be anything resembling a good person. She has a lot of making up to do to all the men she has willingly and knowingly hurt without any signs of remorse. I know I am not the only one. For me, returning the money that she has absolutely no right to keep would be a huge sign toward showing that she is capable of basic human decency.

Maybe the only woman any man should ever trust is a prostitute. At least they are honest enough to admit to a man that they will fuck him for his money.

Good Bye Steel Horse

That is what he looked like at the dealership where I found him. Well, in person, he looked much clearer, but I didn't have my good camera with me.

I didn't make a good decision financially that day. But I still got that steel horse.

Today I contacted the creditor and we are making arrangements for them to come and pick him up. I don't know how much longer I will get to keep him, but there is nothing I can do to change what will happen.

I will get a new steel horse at some time in the future. Of that I am certain. I will make a better financial decision between now and then, and I will make a much better decision when I get to that point.

For now, I find myself wondering if I should still call myself The Steel Horseman. I have already made a decision to move away from blogspot. As I mentioned a post or two ago, I no longer wish to be "stalked". I won't tell the "stalker" or her friends where to find me. Since at least one is a friend of mine, I guess that would not make me a good friend. So it will be.

Looking forward. I will contact, through email, everyone who I know reads this blog regularly. I will let you know where to find me. If I miss anyone, please leave me a comment and a means to contact you, and I will be sure to let you know where to find my new blog. I promise, it will be much sexier than this one became.

The Door

It may be time to close the door here and open another door (or window) elsewhere. I am working on rebuilding, and for my loyal readers and more, I will provide an update on where to find me.

First 3some story

I have some really awesome sex stories that I have written here. Unfortunately it has been too long since I have written one. Also, unfortunately, I have been remiss in sharing about any of the threesomes I have engaged in. So now I will correct that and share a very memorable night with MP and DG. Memorable to me because it hit on lust taking over and pushing us to cross lines we had previous said we would not cross. When it was all done, we agreed we would not regret anything that had happened.

I had been with MP on a few occasions. It wasn’t exclusive between her and I. I was at one of those points in my life of not desiring an exclusive relationship. There was just too much fun to be had, and too many women yet for me to experience.

I knew DG through MP, and it started as an unspoken agreement that she and I would not get involved because MP was with me first. It was one thing for me to see other women MP did not know, quite another to have sex with women she did know. There was definitely an attraction though, and in the course of that growing attraction, we agreed verbally to not be involved with each other.

One night the three of us were hanging out at my place. We rented and watched a cheesy science fiction movie (the best kind of course). We drank mixed drinks and go drunk through the course of the movie.

Each woman sat on either side of me. MP was so clearly aroused and just kept getting more aroused (it really wasn’t because of the movie, I swear). I could feel her arousal in waves, and every drink just seemed to make her more aroused and more bold. I could feel DG’s presence so very clearly on my other side. I am sure I was feeling her arousal as equally as MP’s. Every time either one of them moved, it was like their hot skin against mine, yet we were all dressed.

Every time I inhaled, I could smell their scent. I was going out of my head with lust. We all three were. I didn’t know what was going to happen, but the sexual energy all three of us were giving off was incredibly intense. It was amazing that any of us knew anything at all about what was happening in the movie.

But eventually that movie came to an end. It was the only one we had, so regular TV was put on, and not a one of us was interested in watching. DG went to the little girls room (when I go there, it becomes the big boy room), and I didn’t waste a moment. I turned to and kissed MP soundly, my hands rubbing her through her clothes. She gave back as much and as good as she was getting. I definitely was not wrong about how aroused she had become, and how uninhibited the alcohol made her feel.

DG (bless her beautiful heart) took extra time to allow me and MP to make out and do some heavy petting. She might have been playing voyeur and enjoying the show we were putting on, I don’t know for certain. She did “make noise” to let us know she was returning. MP and I were too far gone though. We stopped kissing, and MP laid on her back on my old couch. DG sat on the edge beside me (not much room left). I allowed my hand to slide between MP’s legs and rubbed her pussy through her jeans. She gladly accepted my touch, enjoying what I was doing to her body.
I couldn’t ignore the presence of DG beside me though.

“I am going to kiss her.” I said loudly enough and clearly enough for MP to understand. She responded, “Ok.”

Maybe it was how aroused she was, maybe it was being kind of drunk, and maybe she was just stunned. Whatever it was, DG did not stop me from turning her head to mine and kissing her soundly on the lips. At first she accepted my kiss, but in moments she returned my kiss and our tongues were intertwined in a dance of erotic pleasure. I had my hand on MP’s pussy, teasing her delightfully, while I had DG’s lips and tongue to play with. I was really in heaven with lust and pleasure.

I tried to pull DG close to my body so I could feel more of her against me. I pressed harder against MP’s pussy, sending more and more thrills of pleasure into her. Somehow, the sexual energy and intensity increased even more. I think the intensity of the kiss was affecting MP, and the intensity of my hand between her legs was affecting DG, and both of them were infecting me
with a state of lust that had to have release.

The couch was not comfortable for us to go further. So the three of us went to my bedroom where we could all three fit on my bed (lucky for me it was big enough to accommodate us). We talked first. All three of us acknowledged that we had been drinking, and we all three agreed then that no matter what happened, there would be no regrets and nothing would be held against anyone else.

MP and I were quickly out of our clothes. DG was still uncertain because she didn’t want to cause problems or regrets. I was on my knees on the bed, DG was beside me. MP looked at me and said “I want you to cum. I want you to cum for me. Kiss her and cum for me.”

She took my cock into her mouth, giving me the pleasure she was very good at. I pulled DG tightly against me and I kissed her with all of my mouth, tongue, and lust. She returned that kiss with as much of her body, mouth, tongue, and lust as I gave. I could feel her trembling against me.

I couldn’t cum though. The mixture of drinking and the excitement of being with both of them and not wanting it to end was too much. I also noticed I was getting tired from holding my body up when I had been drinking as much as I did.

We shifted and I laid on my back. MP went back to sucking my incredibly hard cock. DG laid beside me and kissed me passionately. I managed to get her shirt and bra off between kisses.

DG paused kissing to watch MP sucking my cock. MP noticed and paused, “Do want to try it?”

My cock twitched with the anticipation of DG’s lips and tongue pleasuring me. DG didn’t answer verbally. She simply moved down toward my cock. MP held it for her, and I felt the incredible thrill of DG doing something we had said we would not do. I felt my cock slide between her lips. I felt her tongue against the sensitive flesh, and the thoughts racing through my head were driving me insane with pleasure. I still couldn’t let myself cum though. This simply had to last.

MP took DG’s place kissing me. I could feel the heat of her lips and tongue where she had been on my cock. I could smell my musky scent on her face, and enjoyed how erotic it was to know she had just been sucking me and now DG was sucking me. She only kissed me for a bit though before returning to my cock. Instead of moving DG out of the way though, she took my balls into her mouth and also licked the base of my cock where DG could not reach.

I thought for sure I would not be able to stop myself from cumming then, but somehow I did. Somehow I didn’t let the pleasure stop, somehow I didn’t cum. Despite all that the two women did to my cock, I didn’t cum.

MP finally decided she needed some attention for herself. She left DG with the pleasure of sucking my cock, and moved to straddle my face so she could enjoy the pleasure of my tongue.

I was more than obliging. I sent my tongue between the extremely wet lips of her pussy. I tasted her. I pushed my tongue into her pussy, feeling the muscles try to grab my tongue as if to pull it in deeper. I pulled my tongue out so I could suck her clit between my lips. My arms wrapped around her thighs, holding her tight against my face.

DG shifted as well. She moved to straddle my cock, and rubbed my cock against her pussy through her pajama pants and panties. If only I could have gotten her completely undressed, I would have felt her wet pussy rubbing against my cock. I wonder if lust would have pushed her to the point of sliding down onto me.

As I felt the cotton rubbing against my cock, and I imagined the look on DG’s face as she looked at my cock so tantalizingly close to her pussy, I felt MP tense. I felt her impending orgasm and I pushed my face tighter against her pussy. I grabbed her legs tighter and squeezed her thighs to hold her in place. She came on my face. Leaning forward to support herself on the wall. I tasted her cum, and licked it as thoroughly as I licked her clit, teasing her into a continuous orgasm.

She couldn’t take much of me flicking her now very sensitive clit and she really wanted to be filled. She still needed more. Shakily, she slipped off of my face. DG moved as if guilty for rubbing her pussy against my cock. MP was clear about her intentions to have me inside of her, and DG went back to her role of allowing her to have me.

My tongue was now free again. I watched MP slide down onto my cock. Her wet pussy easily engulfing my incredible hardness. She placed both hands on my stomach, letting her nails lightly scratch my skin as she enjoyed the pleasure of my cock filling her.

Despite the pleasure of her pussy surrounding my cock, I had enough mind to convince DG to shed her pajama pants and panties so she would be as naked as MP and I, then straddle my face. Despite the threesomes I had enjoyed, this was the only time I got to enjoy the pleasure of tasting two women back to back. I immensely enjoyed the subtle differences between the two women. Such as the slight difference in the softness of their skin, the slight difference in how their body felt as they straddled my face, and especially the difference in how they tasted. They both tasted sweet, but like comparing two brand name candy bars, they were both sweet and still tasted different.

MP took in the pleasure of riding me, while DG experienced the pleasure of my tongue for the very first time. I gave her the pleasure of tasting her juices straight from her pussy. I gave her the pleasure of sucking her clit between my lips while teasing the tip with my tongue. Quickly she was leaning on the wall while she fought to hold back the orgasm threatening to overtake her body.

I felt MP lean forward. I could sense her caressing DG’s back. Letting DG know it was ok to enjoy all of us having sex like this.

I felt MP cum again. I could feel her pussy squeezing my cock as its muscles throbbed around me. I could feel her nails from one hand digging into my skin. I imagined the other hand was on DG’s back and her nails were digging into DG’s skin.

DG came next. The orgasm she had held back couldn’t be denied any longer. Her entire body clenched with the tension from holding back her orgasm. When it released, she could only gasp and breathe while her body shook uncontrollably above my face. I held in place just as I did with MP.

When her orgasm finally subsided, she slid away from my face and laid on the bed just twitching and glowing.

MP had a very pleased smile on her face after watching DG have such an intense orgasm. “It’s your turn now.” She said while looking at me directly in the eye.

We switched positions and she laid down so I could fuck her. We both knew DG loved to watch sex and we knew she would enjoy watching us fuck right in front of her.

I was ready to let it go now. I had pleasured two women, and my cock was aching for release. MP was still incredibly wet and I slid into her easily. She definitely wasn’t done though. I easily drove her to another orgasm as I my cock slid easily in and out of her pussy.

DG recovered from trembling and began caressing my back. Her hand slid down my spine, over the curve of my pumping ass, and down between my legs. She took my balls into her hand, so close to where my cock was sliding into MP, that I am sure she could feel the wetness of MP’s pussy and my cock at the same time.

It was more than I could take and my orgasm overtook me. I thrust hard into MP. DG squeezed my balls gently. MP came with me. I can’t even remember what happened in that orgasm because it overtook me so thoroughly. I can only remember MP digging her nails into my arms, and DG squeezing my balls as if to squeeze every bit of cum out of me and into MP.

I think I collapsed after I finished cumming so hard. Everything is now a blur. The next clear memory I have is being snuggled up between these two gorgeous and wonderful women, drifting off to sleep.

The next morning we kept our agreement, no one regretted anything we had done. There was no jealousy and no anxiety, and DG and I went back to our agreement we had before that night.

Follow This Blog

According to my Blogger information, there are 31 people who are following this blog. Which is pretty interesting. I can go click on the little images and quickly find my way to their blogs.

I didn't count how many blogs I am following. Not quite 31 though. Maybe that means I have been remiss in following blogs. In truth, what really matters is that I go to blogs and actually read what the writers have to offer. Maybe even leave a comment or two.

I did learn something about blogger than I am not all that fond of though.

You can follow a blog privately or anonymously. What that means, is that I could have more than 31 followers (and I know that I do) and I wouldn't know about it.

Really, that shouldn't be a big deal, right? Well here is why it is kind of a big deal to me. By following this blog, a person can read all that I write using this thing called Google Reader. They don't have to visit this blog to actually read what I have written. I go through the trouble of using a sitemeter to allow me to see who my visitors are, and someone can get around that by never visiting my blog, but still getting to read what I wrote.

So what happens if you would like for someone to not read your blog unless they are going to read it openly? Well, if they are following privately, you can't do anything about it. If someone follows your blog openly (like the 31 mentioned), you can go in and "block" them from following your blog. But if someone does it privately, nothing you can do about it. You can't block them from following because you don't even know they are following your blog.

So for anyone out there who might be worrying about stalkers. Guess what? Google (blogger) made it totally easy for someone to play the part of a stalker and you would never know about it. The only thing you can do is make your blog private and pick and choose who is allowed to read. The downfall of going private is that you won't get any new readers, because they won't see what you have written and have the chance to decide they want to read more.

So I am now trying to get word to Google (blogger) to remove this stalker loophole. There is a chance that someone would make their blog private if they were worried about someone they know reading their blog, and this loophole gives people a way to get around that. Owners of blogs should have every opportunity to use tools to know who is reading what they wrote, in case they want to make changes to their blog as a result of who is reading.

In the end. I know this about my blog. I DO NOT want anyone stalking me and reading my words in a way that I can't know about it. If anyone is going to read what I wrote, then I really want them to do it in a way that I can see that I had a visitor. Now that I know it happened to me, I find that I really do not appreciate it, and I really do not appreciate how it was done behind my back.


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Update: If you use blogger (as this blog does), you can go into the settings, under the settings tab, select Site Feed, then there is an option for Allow Blog Feeds. This option can be set to 'Full' (mine was), Short, or none. With full, the blog can be read privately without anyone knowing. In the short option, they can only read the first paragraph (or first 255 characters whichever is shorter). With none they cannot read anything and will have to actually visit your blog in order to read what is written. At least that is what I have been told so far. I'll update again if I learn anything new.

I know

I know what love is. I suppose I could print out the stuff about love that can be found in the book of Corinthians in the Christian Bible. Lots of people have seen that before and I am actively choosing not to get all religious like in the blog.

What I really want to do with this post is to share that this is my personal experience about knowing what Love is. This isn't about words shared by someone else. This isn't about something that evokes a great deal of romanticism, or anything like that.

It is about something that is very real. Very natural, and very much here on this planet.

Should I tell you what Love is not? Those words may seem easy, but they really are not as easy to define as it would be for me to say what I know that Love is. But I do want to say a few things about what Love is not. Love is not something you simply say and it becomes so because you said it. It takes so much more than words to actually love a human being. You actually have to put some effort into it.

By way of example. You can say you love your child (assuming you have children). But to simply say it is meaningless. You have to give of yourself to that child. You have to give your time, your energy, your very effort to see that the child gets the care they need. We all know that in the beginning you have to feed them, transport them (because they can't walk), and provide them with shelter and all other needs (like changing dirty diapers). As they grow, the needs change, but as a parent there is no let up in providing for those needs. There is no let up in giving of yourself, your energy, time, and effort.

So a person who once told me that she loves me, but then followed up with, you guessed it, nothing. Is not a person I can say loves me. I once said in this blog that she probably does not understand what it means to love, and does not understand what it means to care about a person. She proves it by her words (and lack of words) and by her actions.

I digress. This is about me knowing what Love is. Why do I know what it is? Because I am loved. Because, aside from my family relationships (parents, children, siblings, etc), there are two women who really do Love me. Each of them has proven over and over that they are willing to give of themselves, to give me their time, their energy, and their effort to see to my well being. They will do whatever they can to remove anything that makes me unhappy, and provide whatever they can to bring me happiness.

They are both still very much real persons. They both desire to be loved in return. They both want time and energy and effort. They have times that their wants and desires for themselves override the wants and desires for another person. Like I said, it is very very real.

It doesn't just happen easily. It isn't all kinds of romantic. It is just real and natural and it is life and it is Love.

I do know what Love is. I doubt my feeble words written in this post give it any kind of justice. But I can honestly say that there are lots of people in this world who should know what Love really is.